my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
