im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
