it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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