i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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