I want to stick my p in your. b.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
