You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Even my vagina gasped.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
