It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
