oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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