i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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