Someone shit on the floor
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
