Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
So squirting runs in the family.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
