Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
