I think my fart just growled at me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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