He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
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110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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