I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Panties = found
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
