Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
