i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
