We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
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Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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