Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
