He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
