ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have aggressive nipples.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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