did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
