I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
