I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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