I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
