My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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