The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
