They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize