Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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