maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
