Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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