on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
that's an acceptable place to lick
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
