if you like me you must not know who I am
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
wow bdsm is so cute
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
