He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
