why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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