I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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