I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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