OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
These tits shall not be calmed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
