It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
