and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
