her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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