I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Randomize
