keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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