I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
