on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
