I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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