Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
