names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
