i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
