It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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