conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I could fuck to npr.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
