Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
either way he was missing a nipple.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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