Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
