Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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