why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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