CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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