I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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