I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
