The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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