I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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