At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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